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Plays  of  the   Washington  Square   Players 

THE  LAST  STRAW  a  Play 

in  One  Act  by  Bosworth  Crocker 


FRANK    SHAY,     Publisher,     1917 


THE  LAST  STRAW 


The  Last  Straw 

A  Play  in  One  Act 
BOSWORTH  CROCKER 


NEW  YORK 

FRANK  SHAY 

1917 


Copyright  1914,  by  Bosworth  Crocker 
Copyright  1917,  by  Frank  Shay 

British  and  Foreign  Copyright  Reserved  by  Author 


For  permission  to  give  this  play, 

apply  to  Washington  Square  Players, 

New  York,  or  to  Author 


THE  LAST  STRAW 

A  Play  in  One  Act 

By  Bosvvorth  Crocker 


369868 


The  Last  Straw 

By  BOSWORTH  CROCKER 

Original  cast  appearing 

in  the  first  production  by  the  Washington  Square  Players 

at  the  Comedy  Theatre,  New  York 

February  12th,  1917 

The  Persons  of  the  Play  : 

FriEDRICH  Bauer,  janitor  of  the  Bryn  Mazer. 

Arthur  E.  Hoiile 

Miknk.  his  wife Marjoru;  Vonnegut 

Karl,  elder  son,  aged  ten Nick  Long 

Fkitzi,  younger  son,  aged  seven    .      .      Frank  Longacre 

Jim  Lane,  a  grocer  boy Glenn  Hunter 


TIME'.    The  present  day. 

SCBNE*.    The  basement  of  a  large  apartment  house  in 
New  York  City. 


The  hast  Straw 

SCENE :  The  kitchen  of  the  Bauer  flat  in  the  basement 
of  the  Bryn  Mawr.  A  zvindozv  at  the  side  gives  on  an  area 
and  shows  the  walk  above  and  the  houses  across  the  street. 
Opposite  the  zvindozv  is  a  door  to  an  inner  room.  Through 
the  outer  door,  in  the  centre  of  the  back  wall,  a  dumb-zvaiter 
and  zviiistles  to  tenants  can  be  seen.  A  broken  milk-bottle 
lies  in  a  puddle  of  milk  on  the  cement  floor  in  front  of  the 
dumb-zvaiter.  To  the  right  of  the  outer  door,  a  telephone; 
gas-range  on  which  there  are  flatirons  heating  and  vege- 
tables cooking.  To  the  left  of  the  outer  door  is  an  old  side- 
board; over  it  hangs  a  picture  of  Bismarck.  Near  the  centre 
of  the  room,  a  little  to  the  right,  stands  a  kitchen  table  with 
four  chairs  around  it.  Ironing  board  is  placed  between  the 
kitchen  table  and  the  sink,  a  basket  of  dampened  clothes 
under  it.  A  large  calendar  on  the  wall.  An  alarm-clock 
on  the  window-sill.  Time:  a  little  before  noon.  The 
telephone  rings,  Mrs.  Bauer  lea:  es  her  ironing  and  goes  to 
anszver  it. 

mrs.  bauER:  No,  Mr.  Bauer's  out  yet.  (She  listens 
througii  the  transmitter)  Thank  you,  Mrs.  Mohler.  (An- 
other pause)  I'll  tell  him  just  so  soon  he  comes  in — yes, 
ma'am.  (Mrs.  Bauer  goes  back  to  her  ironing.  Grocer 
boy  rushes  into  basement,  zvhistling;  he  puts  dozvn  his 
basket,  goes  up  to  Mrs.  Bauer's  door  and  looks  in.) 

7 


THE    LAST    STRAW 
lank:    Say — where's  the  boss? 

mks.  bauer:  He'll  be  home  soon,  I — hope — Jim.  What 
you  want?  (He  stands  looking  at  her  with  growing  sym- 
pathy) 

lane:  Nothin'.  Got  a  rag  'round  here?  Dumb-waiter's 
all  wet.  .    .    .  Lot  of  groceries  for  Sawyers. 

mrs.  bauer:  (Without  lifting  her  eyes,  mechanically 
hands  him  a  mop  which  hangs  beside  the  door)    Here. 

lane:   What's  the  matter? 

mrs.  bauer:    (Dully)    Huh? 

lane:    (Significantly)    Oh,  I  know. 

mrs.  bauer:    What  you  know? 

lane:  About  the  boss.  (Mrs.  Bauer  looks  distressed) 
Heard  your  friends  across  the  street  talkin'. 

mrs.  bauer:    (Bitterly)    Friends! 

lane:  Rotten  trick  to  play  on  the  boss,  all  right,  puttin' 
that  old  maid  up  to  get  him  pinched. 

mrs.  bauer:    (Absently)    Was  she  an  old  maid? 

lane:  The  cruelty  to  animals  woman  over  there  (Waves 
his  hand) — regular  old  crank.  Xies*  put  her  up  to  it  all 
right. 

mks.  BAUER:  I  guess  it  was  his  old  woman.  Nies  ain't 
SO  bad.  She's  the  one.  Because  my  two  boys  dress  up  a 
little  on  Sunday,  she  don't  like  it. 

*  r 


BOSWORTH     CROCKER 

laxe:  Yes,  she's  sore  because  the  boys  told  her  the  boss 
kicks  their  dog. 

mrs.  BAUER :  He  don't  do  nothin'  of  the  sort — jus'  drives 
it  'way  from  the  garbage  pails — that's  all.  "We  coulda  had 
that  dog  took  up  long  ago — they  ain't  got  no  license.  But 
Fritz — he's  so  easy — he  jus'  takes  it  out  chasin'  the  dog 
and  hollerin'. 

laxh:  That  ain't  no  way.  He  ought  to  make  the  dog 
holler — good  and  hard — once ;  then  it'd  keep  out  of  here. 

mrs.  bauer:  Don't  you  go  to  talkin'  like  that  'round  my 
man.  Look  at  all  this  trouble  we're  in  on  account  of  a 
stray  cat. 

lane  :  I  better  get  busy.  They'll  be  callin'  up  the  store 
in  a  minute.  That  woman's  the  limit.  .  .  .  Send  up  the 
groceries  in  that  slop,  she'd  send  them  down  again.  High- 
toned  people  like  her  ought  to  keep  maids.  (He  mops  out 
the  lower  shelf  of  the  dumb-waiter,  then  looks  at  the  broken 
bottle  and  the  puddle  of  milk  inquiringly) 

mrs.  bauer:  (Taking  the  mop  azvay  from  him)  I'll  clean 
that  up.     I  forgot — in  all  this  trouble. 

laxe  :    Whose  milk? 

mrs.  bauer:  The  Mohler's. — That's  how  it  all  happened. 
Somebody  upset  their  milk  on  the  dumb-waiter  and  the  cat 
was  on  the  shelf  lickin'  it  up;  my  man,  not  noticin',  starts 
the  waiter  up  and  the  cat  tries  to  jump  out;  the  bottle  rolls 
ofF  and  breaks.  The  cat  was  hurt  awful — caught  in  the 
shaft.     I   don't  see   how   it   coulda   run   after  that,   but  it 


THE    LAST    STRAW 

did — right  into  the  street,  right  into  that  woman — Fritz 
after  it.  Then  it  fell  over.  "You  did  that?"  she  says  to 
Fritz.  "Yes,"  he  says,  "I  did  that."  He  didn't  say  no 
more,  jus'  went  off  and  then  after  a  while  they  came  for 
him  and — (She  begins  to  cry  softly) 

lank:  Brace  up;  they  ain't  goin'  to  do  anything  to  him. 
.  .  .  (Comes  into  kitchen.  Hesitatingly)  Say!  .  .  .  He 
didn't  kick  the  cat — did  he? 

mrs.  BAUER:   Who  said  so? 

lane:    Mrs.  Nies — says  she  saw  him  from  her  window. 

mrs.  BAUER :  (As  though  to  herself)  I  dunno.  (Ex- 
citedly)  Of  course  he  didn't  kick  that  cat.  (Again  as 
though  to  herself)  Fritz  is  so  quick-tempered  he  mighta 
kicked  it  'fore  he  knew  what  he  was  about.  Xo  one'd  ever 
know  how  good  Fritz  is  unless  they  lived  with  him.  He 
never  hurt  no  one  and  nothing  except  himself. 

LANE:  Oh,  I'm  on  to  the  boss.  I  never  mind  his  hol- 
lerin'. 

mrs.  BAUER:  If  you  get  a  chance,  bring  me  some  butter 
for  dinner — a  pound. 

LANE:  All  right.  I'll  run  over  with  it  in  ten  or  fifteen 
minutes,  soon  as  I  get  rid  of  these  orders  out  here  in  the 

wagon. 

mrs.  BAUER :    That'll  do. 

(  She  mores  about  apathetically,  lays  the  clotli  on  the 
kitchen  table  and  begins  to  set  it.     Lane  goes  to  the  ditmb- 

10 


BOSWORTH     CROCKER 

waiter,  whistles  up  the  tube,  puts  the  basket  of  groceries 
on  the  shelf  of  the  dumb-waiter,  pulls  rope  and  sends 
waiter  up.  Mrs.  Bauer  continues  to  set  the  table.  Boys 
from  the  street  suddenly  swoop  into  the  basement  and  yell. 

chorus  of  boys'  voices:  Who  killed  the  cat !  Who  killed 
the  cat ! 

LANE:  (Letting  the  rope  go  and  making  a  dive  for  the 
boys)  I'll  show  you,  you — (They  rush  out,  Mrs.  Bauer 
stands  despairingly  in  the  doorway  shaking  her  clasped 
hands) 

mrs.  bauEr:   Those  are  Nies's  boys. 

lane  :  Regular  toughs !  Call  the  cop  and  have  'em 
pinched  if  they  don't  stop  it.  , 

mrs.  bauer:  If  my  man  hears  them — you  know — there'll 
be  more  trouble. 

lane  :   The  boss  ought  to  make  it  hot  for  them. 

mrs.  bauer  :    Such  trouble  ! 

lane:    (Starts  to  go)  Well, — luck  to  the  boss. 

mrs.  bauer:   There  ain't  no  such  thing  as  luck  for  us. 

lane  :    Aw,  come  on   .    .    . 

mrs.  bauer:  Everything's  against  us.  First  Fritz's 
mother  dies.  We  named  the  baby  after  her — Trude  .  .  . 
Then  we  lost  Trude.  That  finished  Fritz.  After  that  he 
began  this  hollerin'  business.     And  now  this  here  trouble 

11 


THE    LAST    STRAW 

— just   when   things    was   goin*   half   ways   decent    for   the 
first  time.     (She  pushes  past  him  and  goes  to  her  ironing.) 

lank:    (Shakes  his  head  sympathetically  and  takes  up 

his  backet)    A  pound  you  said? 

mrs.  bauer  :   Yes. 

lank:  All  right.  (He  starts  off  and  then  rushes  back) 
Here's  the  boss  comin',  Mrs.  Bauer.     (Rushes  off  again) 

LANE'S  voice:    (Cheerfully)    Hello,  there! 

Bauer's  voice:  (Dull  and  strained)  Hello!  (Bauer 
comes  in.  His  naturally  bright  blue  eyes  are  tired  and 
lustreless;  his  strong  frame  seems  to  have  lost  all  vigor  and 
alertness;  there  is  a  look  of  utter  despondency  on  his  face) 

mrs.  BAUER:  (Closi)ig  the  door  after  him)  They  let  you 
off? 

BAUER:  I  With  a  hard  little  laugh)  Yes,  they  let  me  off 
— they  let  me  off  with  a  fine  all  right. 

mks.  BAUER:    (Aghast)    They  think  you  did  it  then. 

BAUER:    (Harshly)    The  judge  fined  me  I  tell  you. 

mrs.  BAUER:  (  Unable  to  express  her  poignant  sympathy) 
Pined  you!   .    .    .   O  Fritz!     {She   lays    her    hand    on    his 

shoulder  ) 

BAUEi   (Roughly,  to  keep  himself  from  going  to  pieces) 

That  slop  out  there  ain't  cleaned  up  yet. 

mrs.  BAUER!    I've  been  so  worried. 

12 


BOSWORTH     CROCKER 

bauer :  (With  sudden  desperation)  I  can't  stand  it.  I 
tell  you. 

mrs.  bauEr:    Well,  it's  all  over  now,  Fritz. 

bauer  :   Yes,  it's  all  over  .    .    .  it's  all  up  with  me. 

mrs.  bauer:    Fritz! 

bauer:    That's  one  sure  thing. 

mrs.  bauers  You  oughtn't  to  give  up  like  this. 

bauer:  (Pounding  on  the  table)  I  tell  you  I  can't  hold 
up  my  head  again. 

mrs.  bauer:    Why,  Fritz? 

bauer:  They've  made  me  out  guilty.  The  judge  fined 
me.  Fined  me,  Miene !  How  is  that  ?  Can  a  man  stand 
for  that?  The  woman  said  I  told  her  myself — right  out — 
that  I  did  it. 

mrs.  bauer:  The  woman  that  had  you — (He  winces  as 
she  hesitates)    took? 

bauer  :    Damned 


mrs.  bauer:  (Putting  her  hand  over  his  mouth)  Hush, 
Fritz. 

bauer:  Why  will  I  hush,  Miene?  She  said  I  was  proud 
of  the  job.  (Passionately  raising  his  zvice)  The  damned 
interferin' 

mrs.  bauer  :  Don't  holler,  Fritz.  It's  your  hollerin'  that's 
made  all  this  trouble. 

13 


THE    LAST    STRAW 

BAUER:  (Penetrated  by  her  words  more  and  more)  My 
hollerin' !  .  .   .  ( The  telephone  ri)i^s;  she  answers  it) 

mrs.  BAUSR:  Yes,  Mrs.  Mohler,  he's  come  in  now. — Yes. 
— Won't  after  dinner  do? — All  light — Thank  you,  Mrs. 
Mohler.  (She  hongs  up  the  receiver)  Mrs.  Mohler  wants 
you  to  fix  her  sink  right  after  dinner. 

BAUER :    I'm  not  goin'  to  do  any  more  fixin'  around  here. 

mrs.  bauer:  You  hold  on  to  yourself,  Fritz;  that's  no 
way  to  talk;  Mrs.  Mohler's  a  nice  woman. 

bauer  :  I  don't  want  to  see  no  more  nice  women. 
(After  a  pause)  Hollerin'! — that's  what's  the  matter  with 
me — hollerin',  eh?    Well,  I've  took  it  all  out  in  hollerin'. 

mrs.  bauer:  They  hear  you  and  they  think  you've  got 
no  feelings. 

bauer:  (In  utter  amazement  at  the  irony  of  the  situa- 
tion) And  I  was  goin'  after  the  damned  cat  to  take  care 
of  it. 

mrs.  BAUER:    Why  didn't  you  tell  the  judge  all  about  it? 

BAUER:  They  got  me  rattled  among  them.  The  lady  was 
so  soft  and  plea-ant — "lie  must  be  made  to  understand, 
your  Honor,"  she  said  to  the  judge,  '"that  dumb  animals 
has  feelin's,  too,  just  as  well  as  human  beings" — Me, 
Miene, — made  to  understand  that!  I  couldn't  say  nothin'. 
My  voice  just  stuck  in  my  throat. 

mrs.  BAUER:  What's  the  matter  with  you?  You  OUghta 
spoke  up  and  told  the  judge  just  how  it  all  happened. 

14 


BOSWORTH     CROCKER 

bauer:  I  said  to  myself:  I'll  go  home  and  put  a  bullet 
through  my  head — that's  the  best  thing  for  me  now. 

mrs.  bauer:  (With  impatient  unbelief)  Ach,  Fritz, 
Fritz!     (Clatter  of  feet) 

chorus  or  voices:  (At  the  outer  door)  Who  killed  the 
cat !  Who  killed  the  cat !  (Bauer  jumps  up,  pale  and  shaken 
with  strange  rage;  she  pushes  him  gently  back  into  his  chair, 
opens  the  door,  steps  out  for  a  moment,  then  comes  in  and 
leaves  the  door  open  behind  her) 

bauer:  You  see?  .  .  .  Even  the  kids  .  .  .  I'm  dis- 
graced all  over  the  place. 

mrs.  bauer:    So  long  as  you  didn't  hurt  the  cat — 

bauer:    What's  the  difference?    Everybody  believes  it. 

mrs.  bauer:    No,  they  don't,  Fritz. 

bauer  :  You  can't  fool  me,  Miene.  I  see  it  in  their  eyes. 
They  looked  away  from  me  when  I  was  comin'  'round  the 

corner.     Some  of  them  kinder  smiled  like (Passes  his 

hand  over  his  head)  Even  the  cop  says  to  me  on  the  way 
over,  yesterday:  "Don't  you  put  your  foot  in  it  any  more'n 
you  have  to."  You  see?  He  thought  I  did  it  all  right. 
Everybody  believes  it. 

mrs.  bauer:  (Putting  towels  away)  Well,  then  let  them 
believe  it.  .    .    .  The  agent  don't  believe  it. 

bauer  :   I  dunno.     He'da  paid  my  fine  anyhow. 

mrs.  bauer:    He  gave  you  a  good  name. 

15 


THE    LAST    STRAW 

BAUER:  (With  indignant  derision)  He  gave  me  a  good 
name !  .  .  .  Haven't  I  always  kept  this  place  all  right  since  we 
been  here?  Afterwards  he  said  to  me:  "I'm  surprised  at 
this  business,  Bauer,  very  much  surprised."  That  shows 
what  he  thinks.  I  told  him  it  ain't  true,  I  didn't  mean  to 
hurt  it.     I  saw  by  his  eyes  he  didn't  believe  me. 

mrs.  BAUER:    Well,  don't  you  worry  any  more  now. 
BAUER:    {To  Himself)    Hollerin'! 

mrs.  BAUER:  (Shuts  the  door)  Well  now  holler  a  little 
if  it  does  you  good. 

bauEr:    Nothin's  goin'  to  do  me  good. 

mrs.  BAUER:  You  just  put  it  out  of  your  mind.  (The 
telephone  rings.  She  answers  it)  Yes,  but  he  can't  come 
now,  Mrs.  McAllister.  He'll  be  up  this  afternoon.  (Shi 
hangs  up  the  receiver) 

bauer:    And  I  ain't  goin'  this  afternoon — nowhere. 

mrs.  bauer:  It's  Mrs.  McAllister.  Somethin's  wrong 
with  her  refrigerator — the  water  won't  run  off  she  says. 

BAUER:    They  can  clean  out  their  own  drain  pipes. 

mrs.  BAUER:  You  go  to  work  and  get  your  mind  off  this 
here  business. 

BAUER:  (Staring  straight  ahead  of  him)  I  ain't  goin' 
'round  among  the  people  in  this  house  ...  to  have  them 
lookin'  at  me  .  .  .  disgraced  like  this. 

Ifi 


BOSWORTH     CROCKER 

mrs.  bauer  :  You  want  to  hold  up  your  head  and  act  as 
if  nothin's  happened. 

bauer:  Nobody  spoke  to  me  at  the  dumb-waiter  when 
I  took  off  the  garbage  and  paper  this  morning.  Mrs. 
Mohler  always  says  something  pleasant. 

mrs.  bauer:  You  just  think  that  because  you're  all  up- 
set. (The  telephone  rings;  she  goes  to  it  and  listejis)  Yes, 
ma'am,'  I'll  see.  Fritz,  have  you  any  fine  wire  ?  Mrs.  Mc- 
Allister thinks  she  might  try  and  fix  the  drain  with  it — 
till  you  come  up. 

bauer  :    I  got  no  wire. 

mrs.  bauer:  Mr.  Bauer'll  fix  it — right  after  dinner,  Mrs. 
McAllister.  (Impatiently)  He  can't  find  the  wire  this 
minute — soon's  he  eats  his  dinner. 

bauer:    (Doggedly)    You'll  see.  .    .    . 

mrs.  bauer:  (Soothingly)  Come  now,  Fritz,  give  me 
your  hat.     (She  takes  his  hat  from  him) 

voices  in  THE  STREET:  (Receding  from  the  front  area) 
Who  killed  the  cat!  Who  killed  the  cat!  (Bauer  rushes 
toward  the  window  in  a  fury  of  excitement) 

bauer:  (Shouting  at  the  top  of  his  voice)  Verdanunte 
loafers!    Schweine! 

MRS.  bauer:    (Goes  up  to  him)    Fritz!    Fritz! 

bauer:    (Collapses  and  drops  into  chair)    You  hear  'em. 

17 


THE    LAST    STRAW 

mrs.  bauEr:  Don't  pay  no  attention,  then  they'll  get 
tired. 

BAUER:  Miene,  we  must  go  away.  I  can't  stand  it  here 
nc  longer. 

mrs.  bauEr:  But  there's  not  such  another  good  place, 
Fritz — And  the  movin'  .    .    . 

bauer:    I  say  I  can't  stand  it. 

mrs.  BAUER:  (Desperately)  It  .  .  .  it  would  be  just  the 
same  any  other  place. 

bauer:   Just  the  same? 

mrs.  bauer:    Yes,  something'd  go  wrong  anyhow. 

bauer:  You  think  I'm  a  regular  Jonah.  {He  shakes  his 
head  repeatedly  in  the  affirmative  as  though  wholly  em- 
bracing her  point  of  view) 

mrs.  BAUER:  Folks  don't  get  to  know  you.  They  hear 
you  hollerin'  'round  and  they  think  you  beat  the  children 
and  kick  the  dogs  and  cats. 

BAUER:  Do  I  ever  lick  the  children  when  they  don't  need 
it? 

mrs.  BAUER:    Not  Fritzi. 

BAUER:  You  want  to  spoil  Karl.  1  just  touch  him  with 
the  strap  once,  a  little — like  this  (illustrates  with  a  gesture) 

t  )  scare  him  and  he  howls  like  hell. 

mrs.   BAUER:    Yes,  and  then  he  don't  mind  you  no  more 
USe  he  knows  you  don't  mean  it. 

18 


BOSWORTH     CROCKER 

bauEr:  (To  himself)  That's  the  way  it  goes  ...  a 
man's  own  wife  and  children  .    .    . 

mrs.  bauEr:  (Attending  to  the  dinner.  Irritably)  Fritz, 
if  you  would  clean  that  up  out  there — and  Mrs.  Carroll 
wants  her  waste-basket.  You  musta  forgot  to  send  it  up 
again. 

BAUER :  All  right.  (He  goes  out  and  leaves  the  door 
open.  She  stands  her  flatiron  on  the  ledge  of  the  range  to 
cool  and  puts  her  ironing  board  away,  watching  him  at  the 
dumb-waiter  while  he  picks  up  the  glass  and  cleans  up  the 
milk  on  the  cement  floor.  He  disappears  for  a  moment, 
then  he  comes  in  again,  goes  to  a  drawer  and  takes  out  rags 
and  a  bottle  of  polish) 

mrs.  bauEr:  (Pushing  the  clothes-basket  out  of  the  way) 
This  ain't  cleanin'  day,  Fritz. 

bauer:  (Dully,  putting  the  polish  back  into  the  drawer) 
That's  so. 

mrs.  bauer :  (Comforting  him)  You've  got  to  eat  a  good 
dinner  and  then  go  upstairs  and  fix  that  sink  for  Mrs. 
Mohler  and  the  drain  for  Mrs.  McAllister. 

bauer:  (In  a  tense  voice)  I  tell  you  I  can't  stand  it.  .  .  . 
I  tell  you,  Miene.   .    .    . 

mrs.  bauer:    What  now,  Fritz? 

bauer:  People  laugh  in  my  face.  (Nods  in  the  direction 
of  the  street)  Frazer's  boy  standin'  on  the  stoop  calls  his 
dog  away  when  it  runs  up  to  me  like  it  always  does. 

19 


THE    LAST    STRAW 

mrs.  BAUER:  Dogs  know  better'n  men  who's  good  to 
them. 

bauer:    He  acted  like  he  thought  I'd  kick  it. 

mrs.  bauer:  You've  got  all  kinds  of  foolishness  in  your 
head  now  .    .    .  You  sent  up  Carroll's  basket? 

bauer:   Xo. 

mrs.  BAUER:    Well — (She  checks  herself) 

bauer:   All  right.     (He  gets  up) 

mrs.  bauer:  It's  settin'  right  beside  the  other  dumb- 
waiter.    (He  goes  out)      O  Gott ! O   Gott !— O   Gott ! 

(Enter  Karl  and  Fritzi.     Fritzi  is  crying) 

mrs.  bauer:  (Running  to  them)  What's  the  matter? 
(She  hushes  than  and  carefully  closes  the  door) 

karl  :    The  boys  make  fun  of  us ;  they  mock  us. 

fritzi:  They  mock  us — "Miau!  Miaul"  they  cry,  and 
then  they  go  like  this — (Fritzi  imitates  kicking  and  breaks 
out  crying  afresh) 

mrs.  baukr :  Hush  Fritzi,  you  mustn't  let  your  father 
hear. 

fritzi:    He'd  make  them  shut  up. 

karl:  I  don't  want  to  go  to  school  this  afternoon.  (He 
doubles  his  fists) 

MRS.  bauer:    (Turning  on  him  fiercely)    Why  not?    (In 

20 


BOSWORTH     CROCKER 

an  undertone)    You  talk  that  way  before  your  little  brother. 
— Have  you  no  sense? 

Fritzi  :  (Beginning  to  whimper)  I  d-d-d-ont  want  to  go 
to  school  this  afternoon. 

mrs.  bauer  :  You  just  go  'long  to  school  and  mind  your 
own  business. 

karl  and  fritzi:  (Together)    But  the  boys.   .    .    . 

mrs.  bauer:  They  ain'ta  goin'  to  keep  it  up  forever. 
Don't  you  answer  them.  Just  go  'long  together  and  pay  no 
attention. 

karl:    Then  they  get  fresher  and  fresher. 

Fritzi:  (Echoing  Karl)  Yes,  then  they  get  fresher  and 
fresher.  (Mrs.  Bauer  begins  to  take  up  the  dinner.  The 
sound  of  footfalls  just  outside  the  door  is  heard) 

mrs.  bauer  :  Go  on  now,  hang  up  your  caps  and  get 
ready  for  your  dinners. 

fritzi  :   I'm  going  to  tell  my  papa.     (Goes  to  inner  door) 

mrs.  bauer:  For  God's  sake,  Fritzi,  shut  up.  You 
mustn't  tell  no  one.     Papa'd  be  disgraced  all  over. 

karl:    (Coming  up  to  her)    Disgraced? 

mrs.  bauer:    Hush! 

karl  :   Why  disgraced  ? 

mrs.  bauer  :  Because  there's  liars,  low-down  snoopin' 
liars  in  the  world. 

21 


THE    LAST    STRAW 

karl:    Who's  lied,  Mama? 

mrs.  eauer  :    The  janitress  across  the  street. 

karl:    Mrs.  Nies? 

fritzi  :    (Calling  out)    Henny  Nies  is  a  tough. 

mrs.  bauer:  (Looking  toward  the  outer  door  anxiously 
and  shaking  her  head  threateningly  at  Fritzi)  I  give  you 
something  if  you  don't  stop  hollerin'  out  like  that. 

karl:    Who'd  she  lie  to? 

mrs.  bauer:  Never  mind.  Go  'long  now.  It's  time  you 
begin  to  eat. 

karl:    What'd  she  lie  about? 

mrs.  bauer:  (Warmngly)  S-s-sh!  Papa'll  be  comin'  in 
now  in  a  minute. 

karl:  It  was  Ilenny  Nies  set  the  gang  on  to  us.  I 
coulda  licked  them  all  if  I  hadn't  had  to  take  care  of 
Fritzi. 

mks.  BAUER:  You'll  get  a  lickin'  all  right  if  you  don't 
keep  away  from  Ilenny  Nies. 

KARL:  Well — if  they  call  me  names — and  say  my  father's 
been  t<»  the  station-house  for  killing  a  cat  .   .  .  ? 

FRITZ] :    Mian  !  Miau  !  Miau  ! 

MRS.  BAUEB  :     1  [old  your  mouth. 

82 


BOSWORTH     CROCKER 

Fritzi  :  (Swaggering)  My  father  never  was  in  jail — 
was  he,  Mama? 

karl:    Course  not. 

mrs.  bauER:  (To  Fritzi)  Go,  wash  your  hands,  Fritzi. 
(She  steers  him  to  the  door  of  the  inner  room,  he  exits) 

mrs.  bauer:    (Distressed)    Karl  .    .    . 

karl:    {Turning  to  his  mother)    Was  he,  Mama? 

mrs.  bauer:  Papa  don't  act  like  he  used  to.  Sometimes 
I  wonder  what's  come  over  him.  Of  course  it's  enough  to 
ruin  any  man's  temper,  all  the  trouble  we've  had. 

chorus  op  voices  :  (From  the  area  by  the  window)  Who 
killed  the  cat!  Who  killed  the  cat!  (Sound  of  feet  clatter- 
ing up  the  area  steps.  Fritzi  rushes  in,  flourishing  a  re- 
volver) 

fritzi  :    I  shoot  them,  Mama. 

mrs.  bauer:  (Grabbing  the  revolver)  Mein  Gott! 
Fritzi!  Papa's  pistol!  (She  examines  it  carefully)  You 
ever  touch  that  again  and  I'll  .   .   .   (She  menaces  him) 

fritzi:  (Sulkily)  I'll  save  up  my  money  and  buy  me 
one. 

mrs.  bauer:  (Smiling  a  little  to  herself)  I  see  you 
buvin'  one.     (Carries  revolver  into  inner  room) 

fritzi  :  (In  a  loud  voice  and  as  though  shooting  at  Karl) 
Bang!  Bang!  Bang!  (Karl  strikes  at  Fritzi;  Fritzi 
dodges) 

23 


THE    LAST    STRAW 

mrs.  BAUER:    {Coming  out)    You  wash  your  dirty  hands 
face  this  minute — d'you  hear  me? 

fritzi  :  (Looking  at  his  hands)  That's  ink  stains.  I 
got  the  highest  mark  in  spelling  today.  Capital  H-e-n-n-y, 
capital  N-i-e-s — Ilenny  Xies,  a  bum.  (Mrs.  Bauer  makes 
a  rush  at  him  and  he  runs  back  into  the  inner  room ) 

kakl:  (Sitting  dozen  beside  the  table)  Do  we  have  to 
go  to  school  this  afternoon? 

mrs.  bauer:   You  have  to  do  what  you  always  do. 

karl  :    Can't  we  stay  home.  .    .    . 

MRS.  BAUER:    (Fiercely)    Why"    Why? 

karl:    {Sheepishly)     I  ain't  feelin'  well. 

mrs.  bauer:    Karlchen!  .   .   .  sham  dichi 

karl:    Till  the  boys  forget.   .    .    . 

mrs.  BAUER:  Papa'd  know  somethin'  was  wrong  right 
away.  That'd  be  the  end.  You  mustn't  act  as  if  anything 
was  different  from  always. 

karl:     (Indignantly)     Savin'   my    father's   been   to   jail! 

mrs.  bauer  :    Karl  .   .   . 

kari.  :    Papa'd  make  them  stop, 

mrs.  bauer:  (Panic-stricken)  Karl,  don't  you  tell  Papa 
nothing. 

karl:    Not  tell  Papa? 

24 


BOSWORTH     CROCKER 
MRS.  BAUER!    No. 

karl:    Why  not  tell  Papa? 

mrs.  bauer  :    Because 

karl:   Yes,  Mama? 

mrs.  bauer:    Because  he  was  arrested  yesterday. 

karl:    (Shocked)    What  for,  Mama?    Why  was  he 

mrs.  bauer:   For  nothing.  ...  It  was  all  a  lie. 

karl:   Well — what  was  it,  Mama? 

mrs.  bauer  :  The  cat  got  hurt  in  the  dumb-waiter — Papa 
didn't  mean  to — then  they  saw  Papa  chasin'  it — then  it 
died. 

karl:   Why  did  Papa  chase  it? 

mrs.  bauer:   To  see  how  it  hurt  itself. 

karl:   Whose  cat? 

mrs.  bauer:   The  stray  cat. 

karl:   The  little  black  cat?     Is  Blacky  dead? 

mrs.  bauer  :   Yes,  he  died  on  the  sidewalk. 

karl:    Where  was  we? 

mrs.  bauer  :  You  was  at  school. 

karl:    Papa  didn't  want  us  to  keep  Blacky. 

mrs.  bauer:   So  many  cats  and  dogs  around.  .   .    . 

25 


THE    LAST    STRAW 

fritzi:    (  Waiting  at  the  door)    Blacky  was  my  cat. 

mks.  BAUER:    S-s-h  !     What  do  you  know  about  Blacky? 

fritzi:    I  was  listening'.     Why  did  Papa  kill  Blacky? 

mks.  BAUER :   Hush! 

FRITZI:    Why  was  Papa  took  to  jail? 

mrs.  BAUER:  Fritzi!  If  Papa  was  to  hear.  .  .  .  (Mrs. 
Baiter  goes  out ) 

Fritzi:    ( Sidling  up  to  Karl)    Miau!    Miau! 

KARL:   Von  shut  up  that.     Didn't  Mama  tell  you. 

fritzi  :  When  I'm  a  man  I'm  going-  to  get  arrested.  I'll 
shoot  Henny  Nies. 

karl:  (Contemptuously)  Yes,  you'll  do  a  lot  of  shoot- 
ing.    (Fritzi  punches  Karl  in  back) 

karl:  (Striking  at  Fritzi)  You're  as  big  a  tough  as 
Henny  Xies. 

fritzi:  (Proud  of  this  alleged  likeness)  I'm  going  to 
Ik  a  man  just  like  my  father;  I'll  holler  and  make  them 
stand  around. 

•  !U. :      (Will!    conviction)      What    you    need    IS    a    good 
licking.      (  Telephone  rings;  Karl  goes  t<> 

KARL:     No   Ma'am,   we're  just   going  to  eat   now. 

fritzi:  (Sits  down  beside  the  table)  Blacky  was  a  nice 
cat :  she  purred  just  like  a  -team  engine. 

26 


BOSWORTH     CROCKER 

karl  :    Mama  told  you  not  to  bring-  her  in. 

fritzi  :  Papa  said  I  could.  (There  is  the  sound  of  foot- 
falls. Baiter  and  his  wife  come  in  and  close  the  door  be- 
hind them) 

MR?,  bauer:  (Putting  the  dinner  on  the  table)  Come 
children.  {To  Bauer)  Sit  down,  Fritz.  (She  serves  the 
dinner.  Karl  pulls  Fritzi  out  of  his  father's  chair  and 
pushes  him  into  his  own;  then  lie  takes  his  place  next  to  his 
mother ) 

mrs.  bauer:  (To  Bauer  who  sits  looking  at  his  food) 
Eat  something  Friedrich.     (She  sits  dozvri) 

bauer:  I  can't  eat  nothin'.  Fm  full  up  to  here.  (He 
touches  his  throat) 

mrs.  bauer  :  If  you  haven't  done  nothin'  wrong  why 
do  you  let  it  worry  you  so?  (Children  are  absorbed  in 
eating) 

fritzi:  (Suddenly)  Gee,  didn't  Blacky  like  liver !  (Mrs. 
Bauer  and  Karl  look  at  him  warningly) 

mrs.  bauer:    (Fiercely)    You  eat  your  dinner. 

bauer:  (Affectionately,  laying  his  hand  on  Fritzi's  arm) 
Fritzi. 

fritzi:  (Points  tozvard  the  inner  room)  I'm  going  to 
have  a  gun,  too,  when  I'm  a  man.  (Bauer  follows  Fritzi  s 
gesture  and  falls  to  musing.  There  is  a  look  of  brooding 
misery  on  his  face.     Karl    nudges    Fritzi    warningly    and 

27 


THE    LAST    STRAW 

watches  his  father  furtively.    Bauer  sits  motionless,  staring 
Straight  ahead  of  him) 

mrs.  BAUER:    (To  Bauer)  Now  drink  your  coffee. 

bauer :  Don't  you  see,  Miene,  don't  you  see?  .  .  .  Noth- 
ing makes  it  right  now ;  no  one  believes  me — no  one. 

mrs.  bauer:   What  do  you  care  if  you  didn't  do  it. 

bauer  :   I  care  like  hell. 

mrs.  bauer:  {With  a  searching  look  at  her  husband) 
Kritzi.  when  you  go  on  like  this,  people  won't  believe  you 
didn't  do  it.  You  ought  to  act  like  you  don't  care  .  .  . 
(She  fixes  him  with  a  beseeching  glance)  if  you  didn't  do 
it.  (Bauer  looks  at  his  wife  as  though  a  hidden  meaning 
to  her  words  had  suddenly  bitten  into  his  mind) 

bauer:  (As  though  to  himself)  A  man  can't  stand  that. 
I've  gone  hungry  .  .  .  I've  been  in  the  hospital  .  .  .  I've 
worked  when  I  couldn't  stand  up  hardly.   .    .    . 

mrs.  bauer:  (Coaxingly)  Drink  your  coffee,  drink  it 
now,  Fritz,  while  it's  hot.  (He  tries  to  swallow  a  little 
coffee  and  then  puts  dozen  the  cup) 

BAUER:    I've  never  asked  favors  of  no  man. 

MRS.  BAUER:    Well,  an'  if  you  did  .    .    . 

bauer:  I've  always  kept  my  good  name.  .  .  . 

mrs.  BAUER:  H  a  man  hasn't  done  nothin'  wrong  it  don't 
matter.     Just  go  ahead  like  always — if 

28 


BOSWORTH     CROCKER 

bauer:    (Muttering)    If — if — 

mrs.  bauer:  (To  the  boys)  Get  your  caps  now,  it's  time 
to  go  to  school.  (Karl  gets  up,  passes  behind  his  father 
ana*"beckons  to  Fritzi  to  follow  him) 

Fritzi  :    (Keeping  his  seat)    Do  we  have  to  go  to  school? 

bauer:    (Suddenly  alert)    Why  what's  the  matter? 

fritzi  :   The  boys 

mrs.  bauer:  (Breaking  in)  Fritzi!  (The  boys  go  into 
the  inner  room.     Bauer  collapses  again) 

mrs.  bauer:  (Looking  at  him  strangely)  Fritz — if  you 
didn't  .   .   . 

bauer:  I  can't  prove  nothing — and  no  one  believes  me 
(A  pause.  She  is  silent  under  his  gaze)  Xo  one!  (He 
waits  for  her  to  speak.  She  sits  with  averted  face.  He 
sinks  into  a  dull  misery.  The  expression  in  his  eyes  changes 
from  beseeching  to  despair  as  her  silence  continues,  and  he 
cries  out  hoarsely)  No  one!  Even  if  you  kill  a  cat — what's 
a  cat  against  a  man's  life ! 

mrs.  bauer:  (Tensely,  her  eyes  fastened  on  his)  But 
you  didnt  kill  it?     (A  pause) 

mrs.  bauer:  (In  a  low  appealing  voice)  Did  you,  Fritz? 
did  you?  (Bauer  gets  up  slowly.  He  stands  very  still  and 
stares  at  his  wife) 

karl's  voice:  Mama,  Fritzi's  fooling  with  Papa's  gun. 
(Both  children  rush  into  the  room)  karl  :  You  oughta 
lock  it  up. 

29 


THE    LAST    STRAW 

mrs.  BAUER:  I  To  Fritci)  Bad  boy !  (To  Karl)  Fritzi 
wants  to  kill  himself — that's  what.  Go  on  to  school.  (Boys 
run  past  area) 

voices:  Who  killed  the  cat!  Who  killed  the  cat!  (At 
the  sound  of  the  voices  the  boys  start  back.  Instinctively 
Mrs.  Bauer  lays  a  protecting  hand  on  each.  She  looks 
around  at  her  husband  with  a  sudden  anxiety  which  she 
tries  to  conceal  from  the  children  who  whisper  together. 
Bauer  rises  heavily  to  his  feet  and  walks  staggeringly  to- 
zcard  the  inner  room) 

mks.  bauER:  (In  a  worried  tone  as  she  pushes  the  chil- 
dren out)  Go  on  to  school.  (At  the  threshold  of  the  inner 
room,  Bauer  stops,  half -turns  back  with  distorted  features, 
and  then  hurries  in.  The  door  slams  behind  him.  Mrs. 
Bauer  closes  the  outer  door,  turns,  takes  a  step  as  though 
to  follow  Bauer,  hesitates,  then  crosses  to  the  kitchen  table 
and  starts  to  clear  up  the  dishes.  The  report  of  a  revolver 
sounds  from  the  inner  room.  Tcrror-strickoi,  Mrs.  Bauer 
rushes  in, 

MRS.  BAUER'S  voice:  Fritz!  Fritz!  Speak  to  me!  Look 
at  me,  Fritz!  You  didn't  do  it,  Fritz!  I  know  you  didn't 
do  it!  (Sound  of  low  sobbing  .  .  .  After  a  few  seconds 
the  telephone  bell  .   .   .  It  rings  continuously  while 

the  Curtain  slowly  falls. 


30 


c  c^i 


Fin 

B 
T 

K 

Sect 

Fr 
Er 
Su 
Su 

Thin 

Th 
Lir 
Bel 


Four  i 

Sau 
Mo: 


TheL 
Trifles 
Anoth 
Loveo 

Erdgei 
Pando: 
Mariar 
TheS( 


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**/> 


/00C 


FEI23M8* 

APR  Z  Z  1961 


FR. 

17  W 


■ 


